It is the opening night of the Vancover Olympic games, and with everything else going on in the world of sports, I am here, in front of my HDTV watching the opening ceremonies. Why? Good question.
Let me see if I can answer that. Years ago, okay, decades ago, I tried ice skating. WHAT A JOKE!! I couldn't stand on skates, I did the splits and for a guy...ouch!! So figure skating was out; ice dancing out too, since it is common knowledge I have two left feet! Pairs? Yeah right, I can't stand up, how the heck do I hold up my partner? Hockey? Hey I may not grace the cover of GQ, but I always wanted my full mouth of teeth, so scratch hockey. So, anything on ice is out. Hmmmm, isn't everything related to winter ice-based? Including Canadian Club and Soda!!! Okay, back to the seriousness.
Skiing! Now that I have done and have enjoyed it. Maybe not the ski lift when you don't get off and then return back to the beginning as the only one on the lift going down, and watching all the others going UP THE LIFT and you don't have to hear them to know what they are saying between the laughter and tears as they point you out. Finally, after getting to the top successfully, the trip down was exhilarating and breath-taking. The chatter of the ski edges over the ice-covered slopes; the swooosh sound as you traverse the slope; and now the finale, stopping! Did I say STOP!!! That was one part of the activity I could not muster. I was taught the skater's stop, you know when you cut your skis into the slope and send out a huge spray of snow? I did it...almost. Edge got caught and instead of stopping I stuck and flipped into the bales of hay protecting the beginner slop. Yes, the slope where 4 and 5 year old insults to us adults, take the slopes like ducks to water, and with NO FEAR!!! Maybe because they have only inches to fall, where we old farts don't! So, I guess, skiing is out of the questions.
Luge...now that may be something, but that doesn't even remotely remind me of sled riding. And on your back! And with someone laying on top of you? Unless they have mixed couples luge, count me out!!!
Bob sledding, maybe, but I would need three other teammates who could fit in the sled, and after seeing "Cool Running" the Jamacians could and did do better than I could ever imagine, so, cross out Bob sledding.
Speed skating---see ice skating above only faster!!
Ski jumping...yeah right!!
Biathalon. Now let me get this straight. Ski and shoot a rifle?!?!?! I can see me shooting either myself or a judge after trying to catch my breath from skiing, so another one down.
Cross Country skiing! C'om...too much like work, so how can that be a sport.
So, I think I have covered all the competition and....wait...missed one. CURLING! Now let's take a close look at this one. First, it is played on ice, but indoors without skates, so that is an improvement. You have brooms to sweep the ice. Not much different from sweeping the kitchen floor after trying to make breakfast, lunch or dinner, so add this as a positive. They push an item called a stone. Don't throw, but push it on the ice toward a target, almost like shuffle board played in a bar. (Not that I know that, but have been told that!) Keep score via innings...innings? like baseball? Kinda liking this even more! Finally, no special clothes or equipment, and everyone looks like they are having....FUN!! So, that's the sport I will be looking for..Curling. Indoors..safe..no special expensive equipment..fun..and has segments of baseball. What more could you ask for?
Finally, isn't part of the Winter Olympics that gave us a sport that is etched in our minds, whenever we see the promo of ABC's Wide World of Sports and you hear the phrase, "...and the agony of defeat.." But every competitor in any event has taken years of dedication; years of training; years of sacrifice; and years of focus for that one special moment when standing on the stand, they see their country flag being raised to the rafters and their national anthem is being played and it now sinks in...it was all worth it and that is what I am really going to watch and enjoy...the competition between dedicated people who are there and I am not. Good Luck to all athletes.
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